And her heart was the best part, it would always
calm the storm for those who are afraid of a little rain.
~ R.m Drake
TO PEACE, WITH LOVE.
It seemed like yesterday that we crossed the village
stream to go to Uncle Ben’s farm, acting wild and eating half ripe mangoes
directly from the tree without washing, although we knew Mama would be
mad if she finds out, imagine how she would have gone on and on about the million diseases.
we could have contacted. Remember the time she caught
me eating unwashed guavas and she made me take antibiotics? Dad just stood there with that half smile and the mischievous glint in his eyes as he pretended to agree with everything she said.
I can still remember the aroma of grandma’s delicious
egusi soup that she so dedicatedly prepared when she heard about our
journey despite her poor health, urging us to eat more than our poor
tummies could carry but we all know that is how she expresses her affection. She never really stopped telling dad’s embarrassing childhood stories or how she wished you were a boy. She misses you.
Do you remember chinedu? The tall, handsome, muscular guy that we
used to spy on when he is working on the farm. Oh! How we giggled and oohed and aahed over his perfect abs. we never really said it but
we both had a crush on him. Though at a point he showed a little interest in you, I couldn’t help but feel a little jealous. I heard he is getting
married next month, hard luck. The details of our last journey remained
etched in my memory like it happened yesterday.
I can still hear your laughter echoing through the walls,
that beautiful laugh that you reserve for those closest to you. You
are a perfect contradiction, wild and crazy yet so gentle and calm.
You had a beautiful singing voice as well, too bad we were the only
ones who get to hear it, you should know I was joking when I told you, you
sing like a dying frog. Your collection of novels are still where you left them. Mama goes it every Sunday after church to dust and rearrange them, handling everything as if her life depended on it,.sometimes dad goes with her, don’t worry I hid all the mills and boons novels you don’t want them to see, it is somewhere under my bed. Dad tries his best to give us support but the sorrow in his eyes tells another story. He never said it but we knew you were his favorite.
The perfume you gave me on my Last birthday still stands on my bedside drawer, I rarely use it, it stands there as a reminder of what
could have been. I read your diary almost every day, some of the things
you wrote there were insane. I can’t believe that you had a crush on
Mr. David, no wonder you never told me. And I am sorry for the way I
made you feel. I never knew. You shined like a star, you had your flaws but you were a beautiful person, I don’t think you would have been who you are without them, I am sorry that the world made you feel the otherwise . Your large heart was your biggest strength and also weakness, I admired your kindness and ability to love unconditionally but I hated the way you let others take advantage of you and the way you give endless chances to
people who only hurt you over and over again. Your silly mood swings and
your sometimes bitchy attitude makes me want to push you off a cliff and
pretend it was an accident. I hope you understood that even when we say
mean things or ignored each other and pretend we didn’t care, I love you
like no other. The memory of the day you were diagnosed with stage
four cancer still leaves behind a stabbing pain. I still remember how we
cuddled on your bed that day and cried our hearts out, knowing we had so little time left. The day you left is the worst day of my life, as I promised you I didn’t cry but only because I couldn’t. My insides felt empty as if you
snatched away my soul when you left. You fought cancer like a tigress, but I guess we can’t control everything in life.
So many things have changed, but some still remained the same. Some of your friends visit sometimes Aisha, Janet, and bilkisu and we still go
out to eat every two weeks but it is never the same without you. I believe you are happy wherever you are and laughs out loud when
I, make silly decisions or crazy dance moves. We all miss you, more than words can express.