MY SPACE, YOUR SPACE, OUR SPACE

space

Diversity. That is the word that comes to mind when you look at any university setting, especially one with the size of Ahmadu Bello University or any Federal university in Nigeria at that.

Cramped into this small space are hundreds and thousands of people from different backgrounds and we all know these people come along with various ideologies.  Your job is to try and understand the mechanism of how these different minds work and many times, we fail. What happens afterwards? People quarrel; even friends. continue after the slice…

Take a stroll through any hostel from secondary school to university and you will find that people quarrel over the most ridiculous things. This phenomenon extends to married couples but that is not today’s topic.

Go to any campus, you will find delectable young ladies who strut the streets of the campus like cocks but bring them back to their natural habitat in the hostel and you will see girls that will fight each other and probably strip themselves naked over a bowl of water or whose turn it is to fetch water at the tap.

 Yes, it is no exaggeration.  A girl squatting her friend of two years once fought that friend because she had taken a bowl from her bucket of water to use in the toilet. The squatter did not see the big deal in just one bowl but her friend felt she had no right in taking it when she had not been the one who had fetched it. Moreso, you have roommates that have co-existed for almost a year and laughed together fighting over right of passage (when a person wants to pass and then someone is standing in your way) or something as petty as a person splashing water on someone else.

Then you have the tap fighters whose fights always start with statements like, “Sister, I came before you”.  A few more sentences later and blows begin flying, or to put it more accurately, slaps fly because technically, girls do not blow each other when they fight. They slap and scream instead.

All in the name of not letting anyone overstep boundaries or taking you for granted, you lash out before a word has been said. Whereas, gentle speech will solve the problem easier. I am forever the pacifist and would always go for a dialogue over quarrels and fights. I recognize you have to put your foot down at times and take a stand so that people don’t walk all over you.

However, you must learn to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. In the long run will the bowl of water, someone else   fetching water before you or saying ‘excuse me’ patiently and calmly or the little water splashed on you count? When we look back we realize these things don’t matter and by the time you look at the bigger picture, you realize your anger would have dissipated.

That is not such a bad technique to stop you from saying that eternally hurtful thing that you probably do not mean, is it?. Meanwhile, I will be the first to admit that there are people who see trouble and literally walk into it. Even if you keep quiet, they want to fight you no matter what. Run away from such people; there is no point wasting your time because you can never win against them. They live by fighting and fighting alone.

It is not easy to always walk away or be the bigger person but practice makes perfect. So in you room, remember that you have your space that you are entitled to and no one should breach that but be careful also that you do not encroach to anyone’s space either. Respect is reciprocal. In the end, ‘our’ space becomes more habitable, don’t you think?

3 comments

    • Angela on October 29, 2015 at 2:37 pm
    • Reply

    Thanks….you are right. Guys have their issues too and must learn to adjust just as girls do but it’s just that girls seem to plaster roommate problems on their foreheads (do not get a girl started on it else she won’t stop talking…lol)… but have you had a roommate experience before?

    • Anonymous on October 18, 2015 at 12:23 pm
    • Reply

    A really nice write-up. But I really see a lot wrong with it cos I don’t its only girls that really need to know whose space it belongs too. Guys need to know were they have deficiencies and really amend. #thumbsup# #advocateforgirls#.

      • Anonymous on October 28, 2015 at 8:09 pm
      • Reply

      thanks…being a girl, it is easier to write from a girl’s viewpoint . Also, girls seem to plaster their roommate issues on their forehead (don’t ever a girl started on it; she won’t stop talking…lol) but you are right. Guys have their issues too and must learn to co-habit. Have you had a bad experience before?

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